Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Guantanamo announces new weight loss program for their "clients"

The commander of the Guantanamo prison camp proudly announced today that more than a quarter of the prisoners under his care are taking advantage of the time they are spending on the sunny isle to get their bodies in shape.

"118 of these folks are in a weight reduction program right now," he said. He added that the idea for the program came from the prisoners themselves. "We encourage those in our care to suggest ideas to make their stay here more interesting, and this is one of the things they came up with a few weeks ago."

Officials brushed aside suggestions that the so called "weight reduction program" was actually a hunger strike. "Not so," said one guard. "That's just a rumor started by outside agitators." The same guard told reporters that he himself would have trouble staying away from the food at Gitmo. "These people eat better here than they ever have in their life," he said. "Just check out today's menu." The menu on the day we were there showed that the prisoners were being given the chance to eat better than many citizens of the US, the country which is so kindly providing them with a place to stay in this time of trouble.

Breakfast: Bacon and eggs cooked to order

Lunch: Porkchops with mashed potatoes and gravy

Dinner: Honey glazed ham


Blogger tim said...

ohh. Arrrrgggggghhh. Cringe. laugh. strangle laugh. twitch. curl in ball going oh you sick, sick, sick, sick bastard.

Keep up the awe-ful work. I am shocked and awed. Nice one.


2:13 PM  

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