Sunday, January 08, 2006

Moving in the right direction

You gotta know some things are moving in the right direction when the crusty old New York Times, in an article about Enron bad boy Michael J. Kopper, nonchalantly mentions the "$1.5 million dream house with its glass stairways and its contemporary Japanese motif that he had designed with his longtime partner, William D. Dodson." and later in the story "Mr. Kopper had begun dating Mr. Dodson, who worked in the finance department at Continental Airlines and also wanted to become an investor."

How pleasing it is to note that the article's writer saw no need to include the words, "admitted", "practicing" or even "homosexual".

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Two Turkish Children Die From Bird Flu

Well, duh. Turkey = Bird doesn't it?

Worst Parents Award Goes to...

From The San Jose Mercury News:

The oldest of two San Ramon boys left home alone over New Year's weekend was angry Wednesday that he was forced to care for his autistic brother by himself.

``I'm mad they left,'' Joshua Calero, 10, said. ``I'm mad they didn't take us with them.''

Meanwhile, his father and stepmother, Jacob Calero, 39, and Michelle De La Vega, 32, who had been vacationing in Las Vegas, were escorted off their return flight to Oakland on Wednesday and held on suspicion of felony child endangerment, police Sgt. Brian Kalinowski said. The couple, who allegedly had hired a sitter for their puppies while they were away, both declined media interview requests.

Police, alerted by the boys' maternal grandmother, discovered Joshua and his 5-year-old brother, Jason, home alone Saturday night with cereal and frozen meals to eat and a cell phone number to call for emergencies. (Read the rest here)

Thursday's news clips

Enough about the mine disaster. Where were the tears, TV cameras and reporters when 123 Chinese miners were killed last month? When 161 were killed in November, 65 in July, another 65 in March and 203 in February? Oh. Those 617 folks don't look like our lilly white asses do, so they don't count, eh? Just keep buying those Chinese goods streaming into our Wal-Marts folks.
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The US military is moving right along in their investigation of war crimes. They announced today that they are charging 65 year old Jerry Texiero with desertion and theft. Texiero committed his "crime" when he was a 24 year old Marine who split rather than go to Vietnam. While Texiero's compatriates who fled to Canada to avoid the draft have since been pardoned, and others who enrolled in the National Guard but skipped out on their duties now hold high government posts, officials seem intent on prosecuting Texiero. Let's see. At this rate the police ought to get around to catching the killer of Tupac Shakur, oh, in the year 2033 or so.

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It's alway heartening to watch struggling countries follow the example of the USA. For example, Afghanistan. Taking a page from our playbook, that emerging democracy noted the need for a strong economic base. Here in America that base was cotton. In Afghanistan the cash crop is opium poppies, and this year brings a record crop.

Following again in America's footsteps Afghan leaders took a long hard look at the history of eduction in America. Unable to follow exactly our example, Afghan women have been recruited to fill the vital role once filled by slaves here. Specifically those who teach women to read or write are being killed.

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Monday, January 02, 2006

Linux and Apple users urge others to stick with Windows even in face of huge new threat

Updated Jan 4, 2006

A flaw in Microsoft's Windows Meta File has spawned dozens of attacks since its discovery last week, security experts warned Tuesday.

"Right now, the situation is bad, but it could be much worse. The potential for problems is bigger than we have ever seen," (A computer security expert) said. "We estimate 99 percent of computers worldwide are vulnerable to this attack."

Many of the computer users who have switched from Microsoft's Windows operating system are urging current Windows users not to give up on the Microsoft product, even in the face of the huge new threat, which affects all Windows products made in the last 15 years.

"Just do as Microsoft advises, and don't go to any websites, don't use your e-mail and don't log onto any instant messaging system and you should be fine." Said one computer user who switched to Linux last year.

The ex-Windows users are urging the 95% of computer owners who do use Windows to stick with that system. They point out that there would be severe reprocussions if there were a widespread migration away from Windows.

"Can you imagine the havoc that would be wreaked on the economy if the billions of dollars which are being spent by consumers to buy virus protections, anti-spam programs, spyware blockers and the like were to dry up?" asked one. "Not to mention the impact on consumer spending if the spam publishers were suddenly denied the millions of infected computers they use to secretly email their ads. It would be devestating to computing as we know it."

That 5% of computer users also owe a big debt to the other 95% who still utilize Windows. "If all those folks weren't standing out there with a virtual sign on their back saying 'Attack Me', the bad guys might start targeting us. The way it is now, though, it doesn't make any sense to go after 5% of the total, when the same effort will allow you to crack into and steal from 95% - So please, stick with Windows", he said.

Want a good laugh?

Check out Dave Barry's column "The Year In Horror"

January

... when President George W. Bush is sworn in for a second term, pledging in his inauguration speech that, over the next four years, he will continue, to the best of his ability, trying to pronounce big words. In a strongly worded rebuttal, the Democratic leadership points out that, when you get right down to it, there is no Democratic leadership.

Bush's nominee to be U.S. attorney general, Alberto Gonzales, undergoes a grueling Senate hearing in which Democrats probe him repeatedly about his views on torture. At one point the Democrats threaten that, if Gonzales does not give them the information they want, they will force him to listen, without ear protection, to a question from Sen. Joe Biden. "No!" screams Gonzales. "Anything but that!"

But the mood is more upbeat in ...

February

... when Bush, seeking to patch up the troubled relationship between the United States and its European allies, embarks on a four-nation tour. When critics note that two of the nations are not actually in Europe, the White House responds that the president was "acting on the best intelligence available at the time."

A study by researchers at the University of Utah proves what many people have long suspected: Everybody talking on a cellphone, except you, is a moron.

Meanwhile, in ...

March

... the economy gets a boost when the jobless rate plummets, as hundreds of thousands of unemployed cable-TV legal experts are hired to comment on the trial of Michael Jackson. Jackson is charged with 10 counts of being a space-alien freakadelic weirdo. Everybody agrees this will be very difficult to prove in California.

A California jury finds that actor Robert Blake did not kill his wife. The jury also rules that John Wilkes Booth had nothing to do with the Lincoln assassination, and that bears do not poop in the woods.

Read the rest of the column

Miracle In Spokane, WA. Church leaders rejoice

Just days after a court ruling threatened to bankrupt the diocese of Spokane, Church leaders say that their prayers were answered. "God told us to look at our figures again and we discovered that the diocese may have $57.5 million available without selling any church property" said one church leader. That’s double the initial estimate.

Last week's court decision, in response to the Diocese's claim that it didn't have enough money to pay jury awards to victims of priestly child sex abuse, ruled that the church property wasn't owned by the individual parishes, as church leaders claimed, but by the Diocese. The court ordered the properties onto the auction block to make up the shortfall.

Bush-Cheney Energy Policy Meets Goals Ahead Of Schedule

The White House was gleeful today on receiving word that Iraq's oil exports have hit their lowest levels ever. Bush and Cheney reportedly were seen giving each other a "high five" and chortling over the fact that the anti-war crowd has been completely hoodwinked.

"We fooled them from the beginning" smirked the President. "They thought that the point was to capture the oil for America's use. Why the hell would we want a glut of oil on the market? The fools were going around chanting 'No War For Oil', they should have chanted 'No War For Oil Shortages'."

Vice President Cheney was heard to murmer "War on terror all right. We were 'terror'fied that oil prices might go down." The war, of course has played a large factor in the worldwide shortage of oil, leading to high prices at the pump, and obscene profits for the oil companies.